How Does Divorce Affect Children?

 

The stress of divorce is enormous.  Most of it caused by simply not knowing.  Not knowing what the judge will do.  Not knowing if your ex is going to take you to cover over something stupid.  Not knowing how much it will cost.   Not knowing what the future will be like.   All of this “not knowing” causes stress.  And if you don’t handle the stress well, it comes out in how you handle your children.

Here are 5 things you can do to reduce some of the stress of divorce and how it affects the children:

1. Make a specific visitation schedule and stick to it.  Both of you.  If your kids see your ex – even if you hate that person – your children won’t be under so much stress.  They’ll have an outlet for their emotions.

2. Demand that your lawyer stay inb contact with you.  You should always know where you stand financially with your lawyer.  You should also know that your lawyer is following the same game plan you are.

3. Cool it on the partying.   Trying to juggle a job, the children, the ex-spouse and anyone new is way to much work.   It’s okay to have a new boyfriend or girfriend.   But a new one every week will put stress on you.  And you will put that stress on the children.

4. Don’t talk to your ex sbout why it went wrong.  Look, if your ex filed for divorce, they want out!  And if you filed for divorce, you won’t get any good answer from the other one.  Move on.

5. Pay the necessary bills first.   Everyone thinks they will walk out of the divorce with the winning lottery ticket.  The reality is you will walk out of the divorce with a dollar! Don’t add to the stress by making yourself poor and in debt.

Putting your children in counseling won’t help.  If the stress on them is from you, then you need to learn to handle the stress.  Not pass the buck to the kids to have to learn how to handle YOUR stress.  Your children will grow up bitter, not bonding with either of you, and distrusting relationships.  You want to answer the question “how does divorce affect children?” by saying “Mine? Not so much…”

In addition to surrounding yourself with a good support system, get yourself a good stress management system.  Something more than just “light a candle” or “think happy thoughts”  You will need a system that actually trains you to have a mindshift toward stress.   A system that teaches you to attack and destroy stress, so you can get on with your life.   And not put more stress on your children.

WE RECOMMEND:

The most unique and complete stress management system available.   STRESS JUDO: Black Belt System was developed by Rick Carter, a 25+ year martial artist, and a 15+ year experienced trial lawyer.  And many of those trials were divorces.  STRESS JUDO will train you through 6 belt levels, until you reach black belt.

Eliminate All Doubts About Your Ability to Stand Up Under Pressure and Stress

Vince Lombardi said “Fear makes cowards of us all.” And the essence of fear is doubt in your ability to stand up to the situation. Because if you had no doubt, you would have no fear. When you are under stress, all your doubts and fears become magnified. Eliminate your doubts and that stress reduces.

Very few stress management programs focus on the doubts you have about handling stress. Sure, they give you some stress techniques (“take deep breaths”), but these don’t hit your inner core to bolster your will to stand up to stress. A good stress management system will develop your will and your discipline. The anxiety help you need will be inside of you.

Here are 5 ways to eliminate doubt in the face of stress:
1. Learn to set goals. For too many people, a goal is really just a dream. A goal requires definition, measurability, and attainability. The goal should be to eliminate the stressor.

2. Learn to say no to distractions. When distractions interrupt, measure them against the goal of eliminating your stress. If the interruption doesn’t assist you in reaching your goal, turn it away and get to it later.

3. Develop detailed plans to attain the goal. Having detailed plans will make it easier for you to stick to the plan, which is reinforcing your discipline. Discipline is a key component of removing doubt, as you have the assurance that you will know what to do and actually do it.

4. Focus on having faith in your ability to accomplish your goals. Not really religious faith, but just that core belief that you can set a goal and achieve a goal.

5. Pretend that you have faith in your ability to accomplish your goals. This is not a question of self-esteem. It is a question of whether you will push through the sticking points. Pretending that you can do this will actually cause you to do it.

Stress is relentless. Stress is impersonal. Stress just pushes and pushes and pushes. Take high blood pressure symptoms, for example. There aren’t any, until the stress pushes your blood pressure over a limit. Then it could be fatal. Since the stress and the high blood pressure are silent, your stress management system needs to handle more than just panic attacks treatment. It needs to handle prevention.

Just having faith and confidence is not enough. You have to have the skills to identify the stressor. The ability to plan how to handle it. The discipline and faith to know you will stand up to it. And the humility to learn from the experience.

Learn the 12 components of a comprehensive stress management system in your free exclusive copy of STRESS JUDO: The Overview. Rick Carter has been a trial attorney for over 15 years, and has studied martial arts for over 24+ years. He combined the principles of judo with the best stress management techniques he had learned inside the courtroom and the arena, to create STRESS JUDO. Also available is the EXCLUSIVE and completely unique STRESS JUDO Black Belt System. Be a Black Belt in attacking and eliminating stress from your life.

STRESS JUDO: The Top Holiday Gift

Give the gift of a stress-free life

Holiday stress can be devastating. The pressure of planning and executing parties. The anxiety of whether you can actually get that hot holiday gift for your favorite niece or nephew. The stress of being pulled in 12 directions by parties, work, friends, relatives! It’s enough to give your high blood pressure record numbers!

We suggest looking at STRESS JUDO: The Black Belt System. This unique and exclusive stress training program leads you through 6 belt levels, culminating in a BLACK BELT in stress management:
1. Yellow belt – learn to attack stress
2. Orange belt – learn to anticipate stress
3. Green belt – learn to focus yourself under stress
4. Blue belt – learn to learn from stress
5. Brown belt – learn to stay healthy and strong to fight stress
6. Black belt – learn to control your energy and personal stress management

STRESS JUDO was developed by Rick Carter, a 15+ year trial lawyer and 25+ year martial artist.  By looking at how he handled the stress of trial and the stress of sparring, and knowing how effective a belt system of training is – Rick created STRESS JUDO.  This unique and exclusive training program doesn’t simply show you how to handle stress.  Or just how to be calm under stress.  It trains you to develop the skills and the mindset to attack and destroy stress.   You will WELCOME stress.  You will SEE the opportunities that lie in each stressful situation.   You will be the person who stays calm under fire – the one that your co-workers and your boss look to for leadership.

What better gift can you give someone than the gift of health? Calm? Getting promoted instead of fired?

STRESS JUDO: The Black Belt System

STRESS JUDO Black Belt System OPEN!!

The STRESS JUDO Black Belt System is now open for new members.
Are you looking to eliminate stress from your life?
Do you need to attack high blood pressure symptoms today?
Are you tired of choosing between “stress handle” and “stress reduce“?

Train for a BLACK BELT in stress management.
Each month – from YELLOW belt to BLACK belt – you receive:

• 2 full-length complete Manuals. For example, YELLOW belt is CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING and TIME MANAGEMENT.
• 2 Action Steps charts. So you can apply your training IMMEDIATELY.
• 2 Check Lists. So you can review and assimilate your training.
• 2 Mind Maps. An efficient overview of each belt.
• SYLLABUS. Out suggestion on how to train for maximum and immediate results.

SPECIAL BONUS!!! Each member who signs up in October 2009 gets STRESS JUDO: The Mastery Manual for –FREE–!!

STRESS JUDO was developed by Rick Carter. Rick has bee a trial lawyer for 15+ years, and a maartial artist for 25+ years. The stress of the courtroom and the stress of the ring. Based on his experiences in both, and cutting edge research and technology, Rick developed STRESS JUDO.

STRESS JUDO trains you through 6 belt levels, to achieve mastery and control over stress.