STRESS AND RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS IN A MARRIAGE

Marriage itself is stressful.  Most times, it’s a good kind of stress (moves, buying a house, kids) that maybe isn’t handled the best way.  Sometimes it’s bad stress (affair, job loss, kids) that’s handled poorly.  When the focus is on dealing with the stress instead of dealing with the problem, you as a couple become divided, which itself adds stress to the marriage.

For more, please read relationship problems in a marriage

3 Ways That Creatively Managing Stress Saves Your Relationships

Stress really ruins your health. The effects of stress on the body are potentially deadly. But it also ruins your relationships. The stress you are under has an effect on every person you come in contact with. But especially your closest family and friends. And not in a good way.

One component of stress management that is rarely mentioned is creative thinking. By strengthening your creative thinking, you can see more solutions to your stressful situation.

The remainder of this article is at personal effectiveness.

You Don’t Fit In At Work, Do You?

Have you noticed that you fit in at work less and less, the farther you progress in your career?  Are you finding that you are called on to compromise your principles and integrity more and more?  Are you yearning for autonomy and only getting atta-boys?

This is because you realize the value of an individual human mind.  And what’s causing that stress and anxiety in your life and career is that you want to break through the boundaries that are imposed on you, by people of lesser vision and imagination.  STRESS JUDO COACHING uses the progressive belt training of martial arts and the dynamic interplay of a law school classroom to teach you effective stress management through its unique leadership coaching program.

Click on personal effectiveness to learn more.

Some of my favorite ALEKSANDR SOLZHENITSYN Quotes

All of these are by the Nobel Prize winning – and unfortunately largely forgotten – Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn: 

1. “The simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the lie. One word of truth outweighs the world.”

2. “In keeping silent about evil, in burying it so deep within us that no sign of it appears on the surface, we are implanting it, and it will rise up a thousand fold in the future. When we neither punish nor reproach evildoers, we are not simply protecting their trivial old age, we are thereby ripping the foundations of justice from beneath new generations.”

3. “To stand up for truth is nothing. For truth, you must sit in jail.”

4. “Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either — but right through every human heart — and through all human hearts. This line shifts. Inside us, it oscillates with the years. And even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained. And even in the best of all hearts, there remains … an unuprooted small corner of evil. 

Since then I have come to understand the truth of all the religions of the world: They struggle with the evil inside a human being (inside every human being). It is impossible to expel evil from the world in its entirety, but it is possible to constrict it within each person.”

See THE WARRIOR MINDSET FOR CAREER SUCCESS

Stress Management? Stress Elimination.

How do you deal with the stress in your life?  Do you meditate, so you feel better about stress?  Or do you eliminate the stress source, so that you don’t feel stress at all?

STRESS JUDO COACHING is designed to train you – in 6 months – to eliminate stress.  Using the traditional progressive training of martial arts, and tailoring the focus and flexibility of a litigation in trial, STRESS JUDO COACHING will transform you from fearing stressful situations to welcoming them.

Why would you welcome stress?

Because stress most often occurs when you have outgrown your boundaries.  The stress is actually masking the opportunities that lie beyond.  Expanding your personal boundaries improves your personal effectiveness.

For 3 free reports, go to stress management.  And for a 30 minute tryout – where founder Rick Carter personally will coach you and show you how to use the STRESS JUDO COACHING techniques in your life – click on my tryout and send 3 good times for your tryout.

Transform Stress To Transform Your Personal Effectiveness

Stress is not something to fight.  At least not fight face-to-face.  This is because fighting stress is like pushing against the wall of gelatin.  It will give and give, until you find yourself smothered.  No, the way to fight stress is to transform it.

Stress will always be in your life.  Fighting against stress reduces your personal effectiveness, because you are diverting your attention, focus and energy.   But transforming stress into opportunities – for growth, for expansion, or for general improvement – will skyrocket your persons effectiveness.

Here are six steps to transform stress into opportunities:

1. Approach each stressful situation as a problem to be solved.   Stress is very often (but not always) caused by external resistance to your boundaries expanding.  Looking at that opposition as a problem to be solved converts your “fight or flight” reaction into curiosity and impetus.
2. Develop your personal feedback system.  Each encounter with stress is an opportunity to learn for the next encounter with stress.   Having a personal feedback system to help you see what you did right and what you can improve, will make the next stressful situation that much less stressful.
3. Strengthen your stick-to-it-iveness.   Many times, winning over stress means outlasting it.  But this is not a matter of will or faith.  It is developing the mindset that this stressful situation will not get the better of you.
4. Talk to yourself – and others.  Learn how to coach.  Coaching yourself will go a long way toward transforming your reactions to stressful situations.  By this step, your self-coaching will be to apply the above steps, and you will be well on your way to transforming stress into opportunities.
5. Use fitness and meditation as weapons.  My favorite saying about mediation is that you should be able to meditate in a brass bell being beaten by a dozen hammers.  That’s a lot different than the usual “candles and soft music” approach. And a lot better able to face the real world.
6. Find your inner energy sources.   External stimulants advertised as “energy drinks” are less effective than taping into your inner energy sources.  No matter what you call it – chi, Kundalini, drive – using your inner energy sources will always give you more and longer lasting energy than external stimulants.

Personal effectiveness is what distinguishes the mediocre from the exceptional.  Talent will get some people to the top.  Using skill to extend your talent will keep some people at the top.  Improving your personal effectiveness will make the expression of talent and skill all the more efficient.   And transforming stressful situations into opportunities for growth will allow your personal effectiveness to shine.

STRESS JUDO COACHING is the most unique and effective stress management system available.  In just six months, through progressive belt training, you will develop the steadfastness of a martial artist and the focus of a trial attorney, to transform stress into opportunities.

How Can I Better Myself? Coach

Interesting article on “how can I better myself?” The author says to get a coach and also to learn how to coach yourself.  Has many interesting points, most of which are immediately applicable. 

Rather than print it out, here is the link to –> How Can I Better Myself? Coach

The Difference Between Management vs. Administration and Leadership

Business has a schizophrenic approach to management and leadership. On the one hand, every business talks about leadership at all levels. On the other hand, most people below a certain level are so constrained that their title of management seems more mocking than empowering.

Here is a look at management vs. administration and leadership as practiced in most companies:
1. Management does very little independent thinking, by design and limitation.
2. Management does not consider the best interests of those lower in rank in implementing policy. Again, by design and limitation.
3. Management makes decisions within a narrow vision. Usually limited to “getting the job done.”
4. Leadership analyzes and solves the problem. Because leadership is usually upper management, and upper management sees all and knows all.
5. Leadership seeks a solution that benefits everyone. As long as “everyone” is defined as upper management or stockholders.

This is an artificial dichotomy. Leaders must be able to manage their movements. Managers who aren’t leaders are basically prison guards, simply making sure that everyone gets to the same place at the appointed time. The division between the two is false.

But once a company or organization reaches a certain size, it becomes heavily bureaucratic. The people in management positions become entrenched in their jobs, more afraid of being fired than of being enthusiastic to get promoted. They set up this false dichotomy to justify their inability to lead. That does not mean you need to buy into it.

True leadership starts with leading yourself.  Stress as self discovery. Every culture has a saying about this.  The one I think is most appropriate for leadership, management and business is:  “It is not important to be better than someone else, but to be better than yesterday.” Jigoro Kano

Managing stress and controlling chaos is the first – and best – step to true leadership.

For the most comprehensive stress management training available, go to STRESS JUDO COACHING.

3 FREE proprietary reports:  The Truth; The Remedy; and The Overview.

How Can I Fight Stress? Well, Since You Asked…

Too many people ask for tips on managing stress.  Or on how to relieve stress.  This is the wrong approach.  Because this method leaves the stress in place.  The correct question is “how can I fight stress?”  Because fighting stress means that you intend to beat it.

For a comprehensive article on fighting stress effectively, please read stress and the workplace

And for probably the most effective and efficient way to train you to fight stress, too please look at stress management coaching.

THE Answer To “How Can I Fight Stress?”

Too many stress management programs focus on the question “How can I relieve how stress makes me feel?”  This is an important question, because stress makes you feel miserable.  And the bad health effects of stress make you feel bad for along time after.

However, simply focusing on how you feel internally really doesn’t do anything about the stress that caused the bad feelings in the first place.  What if you took up the question “How can I FIGHT stress?”  Answering this question will help you eliminate stress, not merely manage it.

Stress Judo Coaching.   The exclusive coaching program that helps you answer “how can I FIGHT stress?”  And win.