How Does Divorce Affect Children?

 

The stress of divorce is enormous.  Most of it caused by simply not knowing.  Not knowing what the judge will do.  Not knowing if your ex is going to take you to cover over something stupid.  Not knowing how much it will cost.   Not knowing what the future will be like.   All of this “not knowing” causes stress.  And if you don’t handle the stress well, it comes out in how you handle your children.

Here are 5 things you can do to reduce some of the stress of divorce and how it affects the children:

1. Make a specific visitation schedule and stick to it.  Both of you.  If your kids see your ex – even if you hate that person – your children won’t be under so much stress.  They’ll have an outlet for their emotions.

2. Demand that your lawyer stay inb contact with you.  You should always know where you stand financially with your lawyer.  You should also know that your lawyer is following the same game plan you are.

3. Cool it on the partying.   Trying to juggle a job, the children, the ex-spouse and anyone new is way to much work.   It’s okay to have a new boyfriend or girfriend.   But a new one every week will put stress on you.  And you will put that stress on the children.

4. Don’t talk to your ex sbout why it went wrong.  Look, if your ex filed for divorce, they want out!  And if you filed for divorce, you won’t get any good answer from the other one.  Move on.

5. Pay the necessary bills first.   Everyone thinks they will walk out of the divorce with the winning lottery ticket.  The reality is you will walk out of the divorce with a dollar! Don’t add to the stress by making yourself poor and in debt.

Putting your children in counseling won’t help.  If the stress on them is from you, then you need to learn to handle the stress.  Not pass the buck to the kids to have to learn how to handle YOUR stress.  Your children will grow up bitter, not bonding with either of you, and distrusting relationships.  You want to answer the question “how does divorce affect children?” by saying “Mine? Not so much…”

In addition to surrounding yourself with a good support system, get yourself a good stress management system.  Something more than just “light a candle” or “think happy thoughts”  You will need a system that actually trains you to have a mindshift toward stress.   A system that teaches you to attack and destroy stress, so you can get on with your life.   And not put more stress on your children.

WE RECOMMEND:

The most unique and complete stress management system available.   STRESS JUDO: Black Belt System was developed by Rick Carter, a 25+ year martial artist, and a 15+ year experienced trial lawyer.  And many of those trials were divorces.  STRESS JUDO will train you through 6 belt levels, until you reach black belt.